Newsies Themes
by Cairo
Summary: The songs from Newsies re-written to pay tribute to those suspender-wearing, cabby-hat-sporting hotties


Newsies Theme  
  
(To the tune of "Seize the Day")  
  
"Newsies" is great we'll tell you why  
  
Hotties galore will make you sigh  
  
Mush takes his shirt off  
  
Puts on his cute coif  
  
And he's only one  
  
The rest are yet to come  
  
Spot, Davey, Jack, Kid Blink as well  
  
(repeat)  
  
Hot, sexy boys with much to tell  
  
(repeat)  
  
Rampant ass-grabbing  
  
Boys we'd be nabbing  
  
If they were for real  
  
One cabby hat can make our day  
  
(repeat)  
  
One pelvic thrust will not dismay  
  
(repeat)  
  
Denton's real pervy  
  
Also quite nervy  
  
Newsies are for us!  
  
Racetrack to Blinky  
  
Davey to Spot  
  
Who to chose they're all so hot!  
  
Now that you see the sex appeal  
  
(repeat)  
  
Don't you agree that we're for real?  
  
(repeat)  
  
Cap and suspender  
  
That male gender  
  
Really makes the day,  
  
Hooray!  
  
Alternative Newsies Theme  
  
(To the tune of "The World Will Know")  
  
Mush is really built and finely chiseled  
  
Is he sexy?  
  
YES!  
  
Kid's hilarity will make you sizzle  
  
Is he sexy?  
  
YES!  
  
Davey is a god there's no denying  
  
We ain't lying!  
  
Newsies is the best!  
  
And it beats the rest!  
  
Spot has attitude and really nice hair  
  
Is he sexy?  
  
YES!  
  
Sarah is a trank, for her we don't care  
  
Is she slutty?  
  
YES!  
  
Denton is a perv he follows young boys  
  
But they're our toys!  
  
He will never win  
  
And we're through with him!  
  
But the boys are great  
  
All their cabby hats and their suspenders make us ache  
  
And the pelvic thrusts  
  
Make the movie fine!  
  
With the Newsies everything in life is so sublime!  
  
And for Jack we'd give  
  
Everything we own  
  
To watch Newsies life can be postponed!  
  
Alternative Newsies Theme 2  
  
(To the tune of "King of New York")  
  
Compared to these guys I think I'm hottest  
  
It's true that your biceps are the tautest  
  
A rebel street gang I lead at fourteen  
  
One lick of these lips and ladies love me!  
  
Look at me! I've got sexy appeal  
  
This accent, ain't no phony one  
  
Gamblin' and smokin'  
  
Scabbers I'm soakin'  
  
It's true! Our voices, they often crack  
  
But we're young and hot and singing at that  
  
And we can dance! It's a turn on,  
  
Shaking my bon bon,  
  
I'm a hottie for sure.  
  
I like the attention spawned by this strike  
  
I'm really too young and kinda rat-like  
  
My broccoli-like haircut's sorta dated  
  
A smile like mine, well it ain't hated!  
  
Alternative Newsies Theme 3  
  
(To the tune of "Carrying the Banner")  
  
We're all so hot,  
  
I'm the exception.  
  
Girls seem to like my pirate style  
  
I don't say much, but damn! I'm sexy  
  
I'm unappealing  
  
Yeah, you don't beguile.  
  
At sixteen I've got bulging muscles  
  
I'm short and small, but still! I'm fine  
  
See "Reign of Fire" I'm built superbly  
  
You want me? Better get in line!  
  
I feel handsome  
  
And you look it  
  
I have rock hard buns!  
  
Oh, why am I here?  
  
That's a puzzler  
  
My shirt's now undone!  
  
Ain't it a fine life when no one denies that you are hot!  
  
A mighty fine life, even though your job has gone to pot!  
  
Every morning, when I look in the mirror  
  
I examine my rear  
  
And I beam ear to ear  
  
What a fine life! A face like mine, well it just can't be bought.  
  
Blessed Mushy!  
  
Though we vowed to marry our God,  
  
Our minds, you've changed!  
  
With your tight bod!  
  
Though I'm  
  
("Patrick" is just a bluff!)  
  
Forty  
  
(A lie to get close to us!)  
  
I'm attracted to these young boys!  
  
(But can you really blame her?)  
  
But who doesn't want them as toys?!  
  
(We're irresistible!)  
  
Alternative Newsies Theme 5  
  
(To the tune of "King of New York")  
  
My body is perfect, not too bony  
  
Who cares 'cause this accent ain't a phony  
  
My '92 haircut is a keeper  
  
I'm really hot though I've just one peeper!  
  
Look at me! I'm a hottie galore!  
  
Suddenly, you're with the Newsies  
  
You've gotta choose-y, picking's a douzy.  
  
Watching this movie time and again  
  
Deciding your favourite person but then  
  
You change your mind  
  
Who's the best one?  
  
Under the sun?  
  
I'm a hottie galore.  
  
I really don't think I'm even male  
  
I like to eat hotdogs that are stale  
  
I'm nasty and fat with curly hair  
  
I don't know my lines and I don't care!  
  
Tip your hat, I'm a hottie galore!  
  
How 'bout that? Davey asked me for more!  
  
In nothing flat,  
  
You'll be pondering  
  
Casually sauntering, aimlessly wandering.  
  
Denton, is he as gay as I guess?  
  
The answer to that is "oh my gosh yes!"  
  
He's really gross  
  
And he's boring  
  
While he's whoring  
  
All us hotties galore!  
  
I've gotta be just what you've been wanting  
  
I know that my pelvic thrusts are daunting  
  
Maybe you like me even love me  
  
In thirty-eight seconds who's above me? 


End file.
